Don’t know how to act
Don’t know how to be myself
Don’t know how to calm myself down
it’s a mixed feeling of anxiety, insecurity, random assumption and the fear of being rejected that’s trying to scare me away again.
I kept telling myself. No more escaping, no more backing off
I need to be brave and be honest to myself.
but this thought just keeps coming back to me
after all these years
I think I am gradually losing the ability to love and to give
Loving is not a happy thing anymore
All the enjoyment became worries
Giving leads into expectation, and expectation leads into disappointment
listen to myself
WHAT TO DO